A Pause with Paws

Wampus Cat Greetings!  In keeping with our plan to learn from the ancient wisdom of our Wampus Cat Mascots, it's time to pay a visit to Ms. Paws.

Now, Ms. Paws is a very sweet natured cat.  She is very friendly and affectionate toward people she's familiar with.  She and Tiger usually get along great and have lots of fun wrestling and snuggling together. 

But, sometimes Ms. Paws gets an attitude and is not too keen to share things with Tiger.  She can get pretty territorial about the cat perch and cat tower. 

Paws doesn't always like to share the cat tower with Tiger.

As you can see by the way she is basically sitting on Tiger, Paws doesn't always like to share the window perch.

Wampus Cats, does Ms. Paws remind you of any of your Wampus Kittens (residents)?  This is the time of year when roommate conflicts can become very common.  The honeymoon phase of being very excited about the new school year begins to wear off, as time goes by and school work increases. 

Here are some tips for handling roommate conflicts:

• Make sure all your residents have completed their Roommate Contracts.  These are very helpful tools for helping your residents talk about what boundaries their comfortable with, what their pet peeves are, etc.  It's very important that residents have talked with their roommates about preferences regarding visitation/guests, shower schedule (for suite style rooms), cleanliness of the room, study times in the room, sleep time, use of personal items, music/noise, and use of space in the room. 
• Sometimes it helps for residents to keep in mind that they don't have to necessarily be best friends with their roommates.  While some great friendships can start out this way, many people have friendly but not super close relationships with their college roommates, and that's totally fine.
• Discourage your residents from talking about their roommates behind their backs.  This can often get back to the roommate and escalate the situation.
• Make sure your residents are aware that any time living space is shared, compromises have to take place for people to live together in peace.  Help your residents decide what issues they are both willing to compromise on.
• Encourage your residents to make use of the other common ares in your building (study lounges, multipurpose rooms, etc.) as needed.  Sometimes getting out of the room a bit on a regular basis can help diffuse tense roommate situations.
• Make sure your residents are aware of other campus spaces that can be great for studying and/or reading:  the library, Starbucks, dining halls, the U.C.
• Remind your residents to be realistic and patient.  For many of our students, sharing a room is a new experience for them and it takes some getting used to. 

Here are some good online resources on residence life roommate conflicts:
http://reslife.georgetown.edu/studentfamily/dailyliving/roommates/rmconflicttips.html
http://www.udel.edu/reslife/parents/roommate.html
http://www.drew.edu/depts/reslife.aspx?id=14453

The West Area Programming Office has ready made bulletin boards on roommate success that you are welcome to use!

Always remember you can use your head staff as a resource if you need further assistance with roommate conflicts.

What about stress and conflict amongst your building staff members?  During this time of year, RAs sometimes feel more stressed out as the their academic work load increases.  Sometimes tensions arise between staff members. 

What can be done about tension between staff members? 

• Keep in mind that you don't have to be best friends with everyone on your staff.  While this is great if it happens naturally, it's fine if it doesn't.  The main goal is to get along as well as possible and support each other, so that you can best serve your residents and build a safe and welcoming community in your hall.
• Remember that conflicts in the workplace are common.  It doesn't matter what field you plan to go into to, work conflicts are a part of life.  Working through conflicts professionally now as an RA can prepare you for staff issues that may arise in whatever field your choose to go into in the future. 
• Make sure that you are getting out of the hall enough.  While you are expected to be dedicated to your RA job, it is very healthy to take appropriate time away from your building when possible.  Having activities and relationships outside of UT Housing can help you keep staff difficulties in perspective.
• Don't talk about staff members behind their backs.  This is likely to get back to them and cause a greater conflict.
• Talk with your head staff about how they would like you to address tensions you have with another staff member.  Such concerns are often best addressed respectively, directly, and in private.
• Make sure you are taking good care of yourself and doing what you can to manage your stress well.  We are all more easily irritated when we are tired and stressed.  Be sure you are getting enough sleep, eating well, getting some regular exercise, and spending time with supportive friends, family, and significant others.  

Remember, a relaxed Wampus Cat is a happy Wampus Cat!